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FEATUREDYou Can Dress Up a Pig
Oh, look at the hog with the wig of old hay, snorting up lies like it’s breakfast buffet. With a grunt and a wheeze and a smug little sneer, he oinks out his bullshit for all cultcakes to hear. “I’m rich! I’m so smart! I’m the best! I’m the king!” Meanwhile he screws up each goddamn thing. He wallows in filth, he rolls in his slop, then blames every mess on the folks at the shop. He huffs and he puffs through his jowls full of grease, then calls it “great leadership,” law, order, and peace. But the hog is a fraud, a loud orange ham, with the morals of mold and the brains of canned spam. He squeals about freedom, he squeals about crime, while stuffing his pockets again and each time. So here is the truth, plain, simple, and blunt: you can dress up a pig, but it’s still Donald Trump. The Angry Creamsicle - Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unhinged is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
FEATUREDLet Them Eat Ballroom: Trump’s Gold-Plated Ego Shrine Comes With a Security Excuse
There are political scandals that arrive with smoke, sirens, subpoenas, and the unmistakable smell of someone’s lawyer sweating through a navy suit. And then there are scandals that show up wearing gold trim, dragging a blueprint, and asking taxpayers if they would kindly help finance a monument to one man’s bottomless need to be admired by marble. Welcome to the Trump ballroom-and-arch era: a beautiful little architectural fever dream where the government is somehow too broke to help regular people breathe, but apparently has enough imagination to consider a White House ballroom, a massive triumphal arch, and whatever other gilded nonsense falls out of the imperial junk drawer before lunch. The ballroom story is already absurd on its face. The East Wing of the White House was demolished to make space for Trump’s proposed ballroom, a project AP described as costing about $400 million and one that a federal judge temporarily blocked because the administration lacked congressional approval. The judge concluded that the National Trust for Historic Preservation was likely to succeed because no law came close to giving Trump the authority he claimed. That sentence alone should be enough
FEATUREDTexas Isn’t Failing. It’s Being Managed Into a Ditch.
Texas has spent decades selling itself as the land of freedom, grit, business, boots, barbecue, and government so small it can apparently fit inside a school voucher envelope. But behind the fireworks, flags, and “Don’t Mess With Texas” bumper-sticker cosplay is a much uglier scoreboard: rural hospitals closing, public schools underfunded, uninsured families everywhere, teachers getting squeezed, mental-health access near the basement, and children growing up in schools where “active shooter drill” is somehow treated like a normal part of childhood. That is not freedom. That is a policy crime scene with better branding. And no, this is not about hating Texas. Texas is huge, beautiful, diverse, culturally rich, economically powerful, and full of people who deserve a hell of a lot better than being used as props in some forever-war against “wokeness,” public health, public schools, and basic human decency. The problem is not Texas. The problem is the political machine running it like a Buc-ee’s bathroom with public services attached. Greg Abbott has been governor since 2015, but the rot did not fall out of the sky last Tuesday wearing a ten-gallon hat. Republicans have held the Texas
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